


Fools Walk In

by Willa Shakespeare (AnonEhouse)



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Alternate Universe, Animal Traits, April Fools' Day, Crack, M/M, Really Cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 22:15:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/Willa%20Shakespeare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was originally an April Fool's Day joke- I'd even put the text <i>upside down</i>. Fear not, this is right-side up.</p><p>It's very cracky. Extremely cracky. And explicit depends on the reader. I can see explicit when I read it, but then I wrote it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fools

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

"Word," Vila said as he sipped his black coffee and looked disapprovingly at Avon, who had slipped under the rest room table again, drunk as a lord.

"What word?" Cally said, while listening to Rick Astley on her earphones and humming the Third Man Theme in order to keep the icky human thought waves out of her brain.

"The Word, THE WORD, **THE WORD** ," Jenna said.

Vila patted her on the head, and sent her back to finish combing out Blake. The rebel obedience trials were coming up, and since Blake was pretty poor at sit and stay, Vila hoped for an honorable mention as best groomed.

Gan wandered in with a tray of cauliflower cheese, and everyone stopped for lunch, except Avon. He was being punished for teasing Cally's moondisk by shining his laser probe on it and giving the poor thing heat rash.

Blake licked up the last of the cauliflower cheese in his bowl and looked up adoringly at Vila. Vila grinned and held out a cocktail wienie.

Avon got jealous and lunged for it. Before Vila could separate them the two were locked in... well... not mortal combat.

Jenna got the hose and soaked them both.

Vila shook his head. "I've got to get them both fixed."


	2. Fools Walk In

"Walk on now, walk on." 

Vila jiggled the treat-bag of Tarriel cells and got Avon's attention back from that snappish bitch, Anna, over in the next ring. Avon had done better than expected this year, probably because Vila had the bright idea to have Jenna holding Blake in the warm-up ring when Avon performed.

Vila stood a fair chance of bringing home the Paired Rebel's Cup even despite Avon tripping over his own feet in the bomb-disarming event. They went around the ring with Vila watching where Avon put his feet. While Avon showed his teeth, he didn't actually bite anyone, which was a relief. Avon had all his shots, of course, and a rebel was supposed to show spirit, so growling actually got you points. 

Avon posed dramatically, nose in the air, and silver tunic glittering under the show lights, and they left the ring with a silver rosette. Avon was already taking it apart when they got to the warm-up ring and Vila switched leashes with Jenna. Blake was curious about the rosette. Avon decided to resent that, and the leashes got very tangled in the ensuing tussle which they settled in their usual fashion.

"I AM going to get you two fixed!" Vila threatened once more.

Cally gave Avon a spritz of Eau de Pylene . He sneezed and sat down to sulk while Vila unwrapped Blake, gave him a few hasty licks with the dandy brush and took him in for the final conformation judging.

And that's where it all went wrong. Vila hadn't known the Neuticles Scandal had caused a rule change. They didn't just _look_. And they didn't think to warm the testing equipment. Blake had yelped. 

Before Vila could soothe Blake with a nice juicy secret, there was a loud crash, and Vila spun around to see Avon charging over the temporary wall with Jenna sitting on the ground, cursing and Cally hanging onto his leash and being dragged off her feet. Unfortunately Gan had gone off for an ice-cream. Vila really regretted Gan's absence when Avon reached the judge.

On the bright side, Vila did get several requests to use Avon as a stud for guard-rebels. The fees should just about cover the judge's medical bills.


End file.
